Something New

Something New: Tales from a Makeshift Bride by Lucy Knisley
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I had heard about Lucy Knisley's work over the years, but somehow, I was unprepared for how delightful and relevant to me this book would be. Like Lucy, I'm someone who has never felt the desire to be married, but I love the traditions of it: the coming together to commit your life, the celebratation of ones family and friends in a unique experience that will probably never be echoed again. You might go to a lot of weddings over the years, but the common theme is "the feeling of luck. To be able to don a doomed dress and cluster close to the couple, to watch their happiness bloom on their faces. To see them make serious promises of love to one another is a very lovely gift..."

Some of my favorite panels from the book are early on, when Lucy is talking about the idea of marriage itself. I've often wondered this myself: "Why is it so hard to get my extended family to come to my book signing in their hometown, and so easy to get them to fly across the country to watch me marry a man they don't know?" In the end, I think the ephemeral nature of the event of a wedding is the big draw: there will always be other book signings, but there will only be this one wedding. It does leave me thinking, though - if I never get married, will there never be a big enough event that all my friends and family will come celebrate with me?

I also loved how Lucy and her sort-of sister Taylor bonded over being on "the beautiful spectrum of nerdism." They were less interested in transitional female roles and more in ambitious goals: for Taylor, that mean creating the world's most efficient public transportation service, and for Lucy, drawing Darth Vader and maybe becoming a Jedi. Lucy had the remarkable ability to separate what she loves and enjoys (food and eating, yum) from what truly fuels her drive and passion: creating comics. There's lots of things I love doing that I think I would hate if I was forced to do them for work, and I like what Lucy had to say on the topic: "There's a difference between being a nerd, a fan, an enthusiast... and being an expert."

I will also admit to being fascinated by the minutiae of weddings. I have spent many hours watching reality shows like Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings, and reading blogs and listicals about wedding horror stories from the point of view of the guests, the family, the caterers, and the bride and groom themselves. There are so many emotions and expectations tied into a wedding, and it's not surprising to see fights arise, not just between the couple getting married, but between family members as well.

The important things are what Lucy holds on to, and what she continually reminds those getting married to focus on: you wedding is YOUR wedding, and it's up to you to decide how much or little traditional aspects you want to include, despite what members of your family or bridal party have to say. But don't forget to let them help you, even if it means letting go of the control over things that are less important to you. Treasure the day with your friends and family, soak up the love and memories, and be happy.

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