I Was Here

I Was Here by Gayle Forman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

SPOILERS AHEAD! BE AWARE!

There's something intrinsically sad about a book that starts off with teenage suicide. What's even more sad about this book is trying to figure out with Cody how exactly her best friendship with Meg fell apart over the course of just a few months, so much so that she wasn't even aware that Meg was depressed enough to be seriously considering suicide.

Of course Cody had her reasons for drawing away from Meg - it seemed like Meg had everything and was getting the life they both always wanted, but Cody could only dream of. Of course, things often aren't how they seem. It comes as a shock to Cody when she finds out that Meg had been battling depression and suicidal thoughts since high school, but we as readers can see it coming a mile away. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20, and it's easy to look back and say, if Meg and her parents had been more honest with Cody about Meg's early struggles, maybe she would have seem more warning signs along the way. But it's possible that things would have turned out exactly the same.

I have mixed feelings about Cody and Ben's relationship. First of, I am a skeptic. Their relationship was way too deep too quickly, and I was actually a little relieved when she broke of contact with him. In the end, though, I was grateful that Cody had someone like Ben to be there for her when she was spiraling in her obsession with catching the guy whom she blamed for Meg's death. Yeah, their relationship started messy, and had a lot of messy, confusing moments. But nothing is perfect.

Also, how awesome was Cody's mom in the end? She spent so much time not being a very good mom, but she sure pulled through when it mattered most.

Cody's hunt of the online predator (I can think of nothing else to call him) who encouraged Meg towards suicide was almost scary at times. She didn't seem to have any regard for her own safety, and in her attempts to attract his attention, there were times when she seemed to teeter right on the edge of her own depression. The only positive that came of Cody's hunt is that hopefully __ will be held in some way accountable for Meg's death, and he at least won't be able to talk anyone else into doing something similar.

I guess the main thing to take from a book like this is: hug your loved ones. Pay attention to them and listen to them. Be there for them. Don't live life with regret. For those who are battling depression, please remember you have people that love you. Life is worth living. Just make it one more day.

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