Dark Matter

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

SPOILERS AHEAD: BEWARE!

A fascinating and suspensefully mind-bending thriller, but the heart of this story is about love, family, identity, and regret.

The science itself is intriguing, and Crouch does an excellent job explaining the quantum mechanics of it all so well that even a non-science person like me can understand. And then go, "WHOA."

My favorite parts of this book are all the introspective moments Jason1 has as he tries to make sense of who he is as a person if he's not UNIQUE in his personhood. Eventually he comes to the conclusion that one's identity isn't binary, it's multifaceted. Who you are isn't just the result of one distinct choice, it's the result ALL the choices you make and experiences you have along the way. All those other Jasons (save Jason2) started out at the same point as Jason1: being stolen from his world. Eventually, they diverged, and became distinct individuals. Daniela decides that Jason1 is the one she wants to be with because, just like the first time they met, it's incredible that they found a way to one another for a second time. Is it fate? Maybe, for these instances of these people, it is.

Regret is something we all live with to varying degrees, and it makes sense. Crouch dedicates this book "for anyone who has wondered what their life might look like at the end of the road not taken." The conclusion Jason comes to is that it's easy to look back and wonder what-if, but we have to live our lives in the moment, and be satisfied with decisions we've made. "We see it macro, like one big story, but when you're in it, it's all just day-to-day, right? And isn't that what you have to make your peace with?" When Jason2 claims he built the box to "eradicate regret," to "let you find worlds where you made the right choice," Daniela sets things straight with clarity and insight many of the Jasons lacked: "Life doesn't work that way. You live with your choices and learn. You don't cheat the system."

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and I can't wait to recommend it to people. One of the other quotes I loved from the book was this: "We're all made of the same thing - the blown-out pieces of matter formed in the fires of dead stars." I've read this idea in many other forms over the years ("We are all made of star-stuff" comes to mind), and it always makes me feel such love and connection to my fellow humans, my family and friends. The universe is vast and mysterious, but in the end, we are all made of the same basic things, and we are more alike than we are different. As different as all the various permutations of Jason1s became, in their hearts, they all wanted the same core thing: for Daniela and Charlie to be safe and happy.

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